Regret
by Yueaifeng
Summary: Masquerade only feels regret. He thinks about what he's done, and thinks about the one he loves. Masquerade/Shun Yaoi
1. Thoughts

W00t! My first Fanfiction. I had fun with this and I'm thinking of making it a short series. This is pretty short, actually. I thought it'd be be fun, though. Hope ya'll like it (in, like, a thousand years because I suck so much).

Disclaimer: I don't own Shun or Masquerade (Or a butcher's knife. I'm only 12 :P)

* * *

I regret it.

I'll never be able to make up for what I did. He hates me. Although it may not see likely, I really do regret it. I simply used people to get what I wanted.

Power.

Winning.

Control.

In the end, I only ended up hurting the one thing I need most.

I killed his best friend.

I sent his Bakugan to the Doom Dimension.

He'd never forgive me. I see the hate he has in his eyes for me. The burning feeling always gets me. The more I see him, the more I want.

_Shun_

His silky raven black hair is always pulled back in a low ponytail, for a lack of better words, while his soft brown eyes are almost always cold and distant. His skills as a ninja are excellent. His movements always seem normal, but to me, it's as if he is constantly dancing, dancing _for me_. But I know better then that. I killed Dan.

They all believed me to be dead. But no. I stayed. I regret working for Naga. I was a fool. I was born from negative energy, yet I still feel this attraction to Shun. Before him, my soul seemed like an endless, cold, dark abyss.

But, I know he'd _never_ return these feelings for me. He only sees _Alice_.

Alice.

Why her? What did she ever do for him? Alice, though Shun does not know, is only interested in that _Joe_. I mean, really? If she at least _tried _to see Shun, maybe she'd see how much of a fool she's being. I know if Alice and Shun were to be together for the rest of their lives, I'd never get my chance. But Shun is the only thing I can't obtain. Shun has eyes only for that _useless_ thing that calls herself a lady. She never does _anything_.

I bet your wondering what happened to Dan, right? Well, I killed him, with a knife. A butcher's knife, to be more exact. I was just _so_ mad. I couldn't control myself. And I know, if I could change what had happened, I would. And as for Skyress, I sent her to the Doom Dimension out of pure jealousy.

The door creaked opened. I smirked softly. I opened my eyes to greet the darkness and _his_ form walked towards me. So he did come, just like I asked. This was a first.

"You called? I don't have time for you. You said this was important. If you want to brawl, I'll gladly take revenge for Skyress and Dan." Shun whispered almost menacingly.

My smirk only grew, but my eyes held unending sadness and pain, and it took me almost everything I had just so I wouldn't start crying right here. He glared daggers at me, and if looks could kill, I'd be burning in Hell.

"I only wanted to tell you, this is goodbye, for good. I guess I'll never be able to tell you, though, why I did those things to them." I saw pain reflect in his eyes, showing how _frail_ he was. My smirked was long gone with the realization of the pain I had just reminded him of. I took the knife I had been craftily hiding until now, and put it to my neck. This was the only way I could try to atone the sins I have made.

I felt moisture on my face and realized I was crying. Ever since Alice and I separated, my mask would not come off. A tear drop fell on the floor as I whispered a fractured "Goodbye."

And I went for the kill.

Shun got all defensive when I raised the knife, but he wasn't expecting what was next. His eyes went wide when he understood.

I was commiting suicide.


	2. Knife

I don't know why there wasn't any pain.

I felt a sticky liquid cover my fingers, but no pain. I didn't feel a cut. I didn't dare open my eyes. My face was still wet with tears. I couldn't feel the pain. I saw no 'light' everyone always claimed to see when near death. Actually, I felt normal, as if I was alive.

Ah shoot. I checked for a pulse, and, to my dismay, I found one. Slowly, my eyes opened. What I saw was horrific.

Shun. He stood there, rigid like stone, shirt drenched in blood, _his blood_. My knife was dug sharply in the muscles under his shoulder bone, the other end of the knife sticking through the other side of his shoulder. His amber** eyes glazed with unshed tears. He slowly looked up at me, and I felt my like my already chaotic world shattered like a mirror. Amber bore into my soul, sadness and confusion mixed into a dance. Anger turned calm and relief and concern replaced the enraged emotion.

I didn't understand him. Why would he stop me? I killed his best friend*** for crying out loud! His mother was still in a coma, didn't he hate not having Skyress around?

I couldn't look away. My usual smirk and replaced with a frown. There was no need for words. Our eyes said all we needed, and right now, there was only one word to say...

_Why...?_

Neither of us understood. Amber asked why I'd do such a thing, with the other ask why the change of heart. I honestly thought he wanted me dead. His hand came and literally ripped the knife out. Blood covered my mask and part of my face. We jump from our previously _close_ distance. Him going one way, while I, the other. Who was going to answer first, anyways? I guess I will, but as I opened my mouth, Shun started shacking uncontrollably. His sobs were stifled, trying to hid them. His head hung low, and I saw blood run down his mouth, from biting them so hard, from the mere effort of trying to make sure I wouldn't hear him.

Old habits are hard to get rid of, so naturally, I smirked. My mind was in turmoil. "Shun?" my voice faltering, unsure of the out come.

His head snapped up, eyes closed and tears falling extremely fast. His sobs were quiet. "Shun? Look at me," I demanded, "now." His eyes opened slightly. Sighing, and my smirk falling of my face, I ripped part of my white coat to try to bandage his wounded shoulder. I felt his gaze follow my every movement. His hand held tightly onto the knife, and if fearing that I would take it and stab him. "Shun? Are you all right?" Slowly, he nodded, a bit unsure. I wipe his tears off his beautiful, angel-like face, and, making up my mind, asked if I could have the knife back.

"No!" he, basically, screamed. His poise and expression reminded me of a frightened child. The shock I had on my face must have been distressed, because he calmed down, somewhat, and tries to explain.

"If I give it back to you, you'll try to kill yourself again! I can't let that happen! Please! No....no...no......" he whimpered. Now I was really shocked. How did he know? Furiously, Shun chucked the knife, which in it's turn, went through the pathetically thin wall and into the river. My guess us that it got stuck between some stones, and the hole it left behind was pretty evident.

Shun was still whispering 'no', and I started worrying about him. "Shun?" I asked shaking him. "Shun? Snap out of it!" I quietly yelled. His head bobbed with every shake.

And then I saw his eyes.

My self-hatred grew, and I regreted _ever_ coming back.

* * *

* They have no color because he basically has no eyes if you think about.

** I can't choose! Amber or brown? My friend said amber and I said brown, so I can't choose.

*** Dan's an annoy cow anyways, who cares? (Except you Dan lovers... and Runo.... possibly Julie... and Marucho.... and most characters from Bakugan....

Notice that I haven't really said anything about the blood on Masquerade? And Masquerade is REALLY OOC in this chapter if you ask me...

This is really short, and I actually have a lot more I want to say, but I have a project I need to do. Anyways, I promised Yue I'd put up the next chapter today. I had a good idea, but I already forget it. Lol poor Shun. He's my favorite character, but he seems pretty shaken up. I wonder what's wrong. I like Masquerade too, but really... he's TOO out of character... I know your pouting by now. Sorry. I'll post the next as soon as I can. This was really short :(. My attempts at cliff-hangers are really annoying you, aren't they? Lol

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, except for some drawings of Shun I made... and Masquerade voodoo doll drawings.... and Shun voodoo drawings...


	3. Sleep

Empty. An empty, endless kind of emotion was on Shun's face.

He was biting so hard on his lip that I knew he was going to have problem eating again. Tears still ran freely down his porcelain face. Whispers were the only sound, not even a mouse could be heard. I stood, shocked and scared to the core. I don't understand anything, but I know one thing.

Something was wrong with Shun. He looked kind of scared, but it was hard to tell with the lifeless, but sorrowful eyes. His choked 'no's still echoed in the cold shed. Deciding, I lift Shun up and piggy-backed him to his home. It wasn't that long of a walk. I use to watch him sleep by his window, but that was a long time ago. As silently as I could, so I wouldn't wake up his Grandfather, I climb into his window, and try to place him gently on his bed.

Oh crap. Who knew Shun had such a hard grip. I gasp a little, since his unusually sharp nails dug into my skin, and I heard new words being repeated. "Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me......." Shun 's voice cracked. Tears fell quicker then before, if that was even possible, and his eyes showed emotion once more. As his dull, wide eyes begged me to stay, I couldn't help but cry. My choice had been made. But, why all of a sudden, did he want _me_? I always thought he wanted Alice, or maybe he's hallucinating, thinking I'm his precious.

But, I still had something to do. I took a green, stuffed phoenix from his shelf, and, mumbling a quiet, and broken-hearted sorry, I hit him in the back of the neck, knocking him unconscious. I stared at his sleeping, feminine, lithe form. His porcelain skin glowed as it basked in the pale moonlight. His face was tear-stained. Blood completely cover his shirt. The stuffed toy sat in his arms.

After one more look, I jumped out the window, and departed into the night sky. Shun's grandfather opened Shun's door, only to find him lying on his bed, and a glimpse of my white coat as I left.

So many memories plagued this mind of mine...

* * *

Rawr too short, next one is going to be longer though, promise.

I think you'll have to wait a while for the next one though. I'm sorta.... lost....

Thank you for reviewing.

They're so out of character


	4. Recollections Shun's point of view

Heya! It's been too long. I'm really sorry. With all the tests, project, end of school and summer camps, I haven't really been able to do much. I was originally going to add another chapter to 'Memoirs' and to 'Fake,' but I got so many people who seemingly liked this one, so here is another chapter of Regret! XD

Disclaimer: I own nothing from this anime. Not even a plush Skyress.

_**THIS IS IN SHUN'S POINT OF VIEW!**_

* * *

I jolted out of my bed, panting, as beads of sweat ran down my face. My eyes widened in panic. Tears still threatened to fall out of my eyes, which were a bit itchy. My head ached, for what reason, I don't remember. As I looked at my surroundings, I noticed that nothing was familiar. White was all around me. White all around. White reminded me of _him_. It always did.

Masquerade. His silky blond hair that defies gravity, his expression always mocked others. A mask always concealed his face. I often wondered what his face might look like under that closed exterior. Foggy images filled my mind. It looked like an abandoned house.

Shaking my head, I tried to get up from this a cursed hospital bed, only to have an immense pain shoot up my right arm. Looking down, I see my arm heavily bandaged with several layers. I see blood soaking them. Shivering, I try to move my shoulder, but only to have intense pain shoot up it.

I swear, the room was laughing at me! Every corner, every wall, laughing, mocking me. Now I know I really was going insane. I tried looking around for my stuffed bird. Whoever had given me that was very kind, and I am grateful for what I had received. For the doll and the flowers had calmed me down from a slightly aggravating day. The doll had also stayed with me through think and thin, and I found it very special, especially now that Skyress was… gone.

And my Skyress doll was gone! I jumped out of the bed, my unkempt fail flailing around. In my distress, I almost tore the room apart looking for it. Now tears were really falling down my face. It wasn't here! And then hysteria consumed me. It couldn't be gone. It was my best friend!

Lately, I couldn't talk to anyone. Dan was dead. Runo, Alice and Julie were all girls, and I couldn't talk to them about guy things. Well, I could, but they wouldn't understand. Skyress is in the Doom Dimension. And then there was Marucho. I know that it's bad to assume thing, but the poor little guy's just a kid, I couldn't bear to put my troubles on him.

And the last one was Masquerade. But, he hasn't been around lately. And what did he want last night, anyways? Did I even go? And most importantly, why do I care? He sent Skyress to the Doom Dimension; he killed my Brother-like figure! And yet, I can't get him out of my head.

That smirk of triumph he had worn while Dan's body had lay in a bloodied heap, the blood that had dyed his snow-white cloak crimson. His mask, splattered with both the dried and liquid substance.

At that time, I had wished that Masquerade had come for me, and I brushed it off was immense sadness over the fact that my brother had died. And when Skyress was sent away, it was as bad as if I had lost my own mother. Why did everyone leave me in the end?

And then I realized that I still had Masquerade. I wouldn't let go of him as easily. With that though in my head, and my tears that had stopped, my Grandfather slammed open the door and looked down at me. I saw something I wish I never had. Pity. My blood boiled. I wasn't _that_ weak!

My head ached with the combined forces of my dizziness, my headache and my relentless tears. The doctor yanked me up and talked to my grandfather, and I heard every detail. They thought I had attempted suicide because my mother had shown no signs of ever waking up. They thought that I had finally snapped thought that I have finally lost my sanity. I didn't argue.

Things would make more sense like that, right? Everything would piece together that way. The wound on my arm, the old abandoned warehouse, my tears, my headache, but that wasn't the worse. The aching my heart had was the worse.

Yes, everything would make sense that way. It had to be it. I was insane. I was insane enough to like Masquerade more then I should, I was insane enough to try to commit suicide.

And I regret nothing.


	5. Ending

I sat on a branch in the old oak tree by Shun's window. They thought he had snapped, they thought him to be mentally 'confused.' But I knew better. It was because of my mistake, my selfish need to see him when I died that led him here. To an asylum.

It was eerie, but definitely not silent. No, what would have been silence was masked by shrill cries of terror, hate, made by those poor souls unfortunate enough to be in this hell-hole. And it was entirely my fault Shun was here. My Angel, my love, was the only silent one, wincing as the shrill cries echoed around.

I must have been too eager, too greedy to properly think it through. I shouldn't have asked him to come to meet me. Now, I couldn't bear to see my love in such a horrible place, but I had no choice. I couldn't simply barge in there and steal him away, could I? The staff would apprehend me in seconds, and Shun most likely does not wish to see me.

Everyday, I'd come here to watch Shun (like always) so that he wouldn't get into to much pain. The wind ruffled my hair, letting see better and worse into Shun cell-like room. There were even bars to keep him from escaping. Glancing at the Angel again, I silently wondered why he seemed so calm, so happy, as if he had learned something important. He was even smiling a bit.

Shun's wound had healed quickly, but a scar had stayed. It was almost whiter than paper compared to his porcelain skin. Shun had suffered trauma for a while, and he has seizures sometimes, but he's almost in perfect health. He was also much more open to others, and, against better judgment, I felt a bit proud for being the one to change his coldness. At the same time, I felt jealous, because now, this side of Shun was for everyone to share, not just mine alone.

Shun seems to like his new facility quite a bit, and takes his time teaching the (mentally dysfunctional asylum) kids to play Bakugan, and helps teaches so many things. I personally think he's getting paid, too. Everyone seems to think that he still has a mental dysfunction, but I know more than them. My angel did seem serene, though, almost like water reflecting the moon.

I smiled at my analogy. My love for Shun would never stop, but my life had no meaning to him. I could not count enough stars to compare to the feeling in my heart. The swelling of the organ's love would never stop to make me think. My face would never stop flushing a rich, apple color. Jasmine's would adorn my home, for my love had a passion for this flower, while I would care for birds in a lovely home where they would forever wonder.

Never thought I was that poetic, huh?

I chuckled to myself, shifting slightly to sit better. I'd never live to do things like that, anyways. How many days has it been since I tried suicide? Shun had stayed at the hospital for a week, and than he was transferred here. I think it's been half a year and a week. That's a lot more than I expected, but I don't mind. I do need to sleep, though. I'm not a robot; I'm human, just like Shun. No, wait; I'm a lower kind of human that need to be erased from this world.

A bird landed beside me, and it started singing. I cursed it, because Shun always looked at the birds. It was a love of his, but I took that away. I should just die, try again. Right the wrongs that I had caused...

"A little birdie, hmm?" Shun murmured from his room. I glared at the bars. How dare it keep him locked up in there? Well? It had no right! He was always in that dungeon. Well, it wasn't a dungeon considering that he's on the third floor, but it doesn't matter. The fact was that he was basically a prisoner of this asylum.

I stopped short on my thoughts, looking at Shun, and gulped. He was looking right at me. This was not good, he wasn't every suppose to find me again. Oh no, oh God… He's… he's going to…

Smile at me?

There was Shun, smiling at me. Sticking a hand out from the bars, he tried to reach me. I don't quite understand why he wants me, but if he does, I'll do what he says. I'd do anything for Shun, I'd even torture and murder, because love makes you weird like that. See, I'm talking to myself, that's weird for me! I really shouldn't be.

And plus, he was smiling. Shouldn't he hate me for getting him in that place? Wouldn't he want to kill me, punch me, at least glare at my confused form? Why did he, instead, smile as if we were friends? I didn't mind, but it was mind bumping. I mean, really, Shun was always that kind of person, but he's acting as if everything was fine, as if he wasn't in an asylum that made him wince every three seconds from the cries of others.

Inching closer to him, Shun grasped my coat, and smiled wilder, almost innocently, at me. Letting go of my jacket, he grabbed my collar and pulled me so we were close, his nose touching mine. I felt a lower region do something it should. Shun looked at me almost seductively. Looking me right in the eyes (and probably ignoring my enormous, red blush) he whispered something I wouldn't forget.

"Don't you dare die on me, Masquerade. I care for you too much…"

And our lips touched into a small, innocent (Yet confusing) kiss.

* * *

Yesh, the chapter is 1,020 words long!

I know, short (although it's probably my longest chapter) and an evil ending. I'm probably not going to continue into a squeal, and I'm sorry if this was too short for your liking or found that the story wasn't worth waiting for this ending, but I thought that it'd fit. It's also more relaxed than the others. This is for the start of school.

I really did enjoy writing this very much. It was fun and I think that this may be the last from this fic. Sorry, but I don't think that I can think of something to continue it. It's also short, but I hope you don't mind this stories shortness, I'll think of something more some other time for another story. .

Thanks to Nazrindi, I think that I'll make another story that's in the Egyptian setting. Thank you Yu-Gi-Oh. I want to write comedy, but I'm not an amusing person....

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I thought that it'd be sad, but it's not sad enough. 0~0 Oh well

Yep, so it will take a long time to make up the Egyptian Story (which will probably be the name) and post up Flute and Bakugan Mew Mew (A parody of Tokyo Mew Mew and Bakugan.)

I would also like to take up your valuable time by writing some acknowledgments:

Ruk182 - For being supportive and... being... a... classmate? Sure, why not. I'm still going to sneak into your book bag....

Nazrindi - Thank you so much for being supportive and awesome! XD

Everyone who Reviewed (except PEJP Bengtzone whom I have yet to understand your comment): Thank you so much for sticking with me (or reading a small part) of this story because you helped me keep going. Oh, and it's nice to have nice (or critique) comments (unless they are not understood). Thank you so much!


End file.
